ambrrrrr it's cold

I just realized I had a few posts waiting in my drafts box that I never published. Here’s one I wrote a year ago that still holds true:

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There are many days I find myself thinking about speech.

I miss all the people. I miss telling the lamest jokes to everyone, whether it be in class, on the bus, or at a tournament. I miss holding the door and saying good morning to everyone. I miss Harlan giving me upside down high fives and checking me before every performance. I miss Samantha utilizing profanity to it’s fullest potential. I miss Jordan giving me a sorry look everytime I try and speak politics. I miss Patrick Wu not caring about anything I say. I miss sitting on the desks with Dely as we eat our daily fruit. I miss Charlie’s abnoxious laugh and eagerness to perform his speech over and over and over again. I miss Steve and his awkward positions when I happen to look at him. I miss Jonthan making fun of my lisp when I wear my retainers. I miss Blok giving me hello hugs. I miss Jane telling me I look pretty today. I miss Kristie’s heart warming smile. I miss Pavin and Hubert shaking their heads everytime I call them Pubert. I miss Brittney putting her finger in a pocket and imagining what it would be like if she were to sit in that pocket. I miss Kiet telling me when I looked nice (and when I looked crappy). I miss Sandy and our really dumb puns. I miss Kevin singing the national anthem with full vibrato in 5th period. I miss taking roll with Leonid. I miss walking around like schizophrenic freaks with Leo talking in character. I miss Gordo and Pear and Steph and Derek. I just miss everyone!

I miss the feeling I get when I get a whole room to laugh with my humor. The feeling of exhaustion, accomplishment, and happiness that you can only achieve if you give it your all. The feeling of knowing you’re capable of impacting someone, anyone, and make them forget their surroundings if only for a minute. The feeling of a cramping foot but knowing it’s for a good cause. The feeling of having to pee from being so nervous yet excited at the same time. The feeling I get when someone comes up to me afterwards to tell me I am funny. Nothing makes me happier than knowing I can make someone laugh. Corny, I know, but seriously. I live for laughs and I laugh to live.